Mixed Relationship's topics - tribe.net

Check this out!

2006-11-30T16:24:34Z

I recently watched a documentary film called "still doing it", which I highly recommend. It's about women, sex and old age. Not an everyday topic but well worth the time to check it out.

Heres their website - WWW.STILLDOINGIT.COM.

cheers
Fit

posted in Mixed Relationship - 0 replies

so

2006-10-18T17:46:59Z

when did you know you liked ppl from another race... i mean when did you realize that tehre was an attraction there? was it always there or did something happen to make it be there?

posted in Mixed Relationship - 4 replies

world cup favourites!

2006-06-09T15:48:42Z

Ok, In all honesty it has to be said that I am not a football/soccer fan BUT sincethe whole country (Germany) has gone nutso and my hometown Frankfurt is infested with enthusiastic fans; I have to ask the question, who are you rooting for in this years World Cup?

My money's on Ghana even though I know deep down inside that they haven't got a chance on this side of football heaven of ever winning. I just reckon you need to pray for at least one under dog, the other half of my money is on Brazil, of course!

posted in Mixed Relationship - 0 replies

old age anyone?

2006-04-21T21:05:53Z

I've recently had some intense encounters with some older members of my family and it's just brought home to me just how totally unprepared I am to be not just old but old and possibly out of health. I need to rethink how and what I'm gonna do to maintain my health and brain cells. Anyone out there with recommendations on how to keep the fizzle in my walk... No kidding this is heavy on my mind!

posted in Mixed Relationship - 0 replies

how far would you go?

2006-04-21T20:57:33Z

Hi everyone,
I've just taken part in a seminar; whose theme was the "meaning of time in different cultures", essentially it was aimed at trying to educate germans who work with foreigners, to have more patience and to develop or voice possible coping strategies, which would help them to avoid colliding into any stereotypes ...

The thing is when you try to mince around stereotypes; you often end up without meaning to, feeding those stereotypes. We've all heard about 'African Time', it's basically the same as 'black time' - well, I spent the better part of a day trying to explain to the audience that although such a thing exists it is not for the reason they all think i.e that africans are lazy, don't take time seriously, are undisciplined, are more relaxed and easy going in their attitude towards time yardy yardy yah...

Using an e.g of the Akan from Ghana; I explained that Africans, actually have their own ideas and attitudes and beliefs assoc. with time which has nothing to do with western notions of time - hence the culture clash! The info. actually came over quite well but I was still surprised how hard some people wanted to believe otherwise despite hearing the truth from the horses mouth so to speak...

Anyways I'm glad that I took part coz I sincerely believe that cultual ignorance is the root of a lot of social probs. esp. in the west and I've kinda taken it on board as a challenge to break down barriers, whenever the oppurtunity arises...

Would you do the same? What do you do to help bridge the gap between ignorance and cultural blindness? Or do you think it's a lost cause altogether to try and open the eyes of the 'other'??

posted in Mixed Relationship - 4 replies

do you have an embarressing weakness for something from another culture?

2006-03-31T12:14:09Z

My bag amongst many is a real soft spot for cheesy (east) indian movies, the dancing, the music, the colours, the sappy romantic epics that last for three hours... does anyone else out there feel me?!

Oh yeah second on the list is chinese ghost stories...

posted in Mixed Relationship - 0 replies

International women's day!

2006-03-07T18:01:13Z

8th March is International Women's Day and I just wanted to give a shout out to all the women out there who are making a difference in the world in any which way or form.

I thought it would be interesting on this auspicious day to mark (and I don't mean paintball) or at least remember the women who have played an important or significant role in our lives... In a positive way mind!

For me it's boring but true I would have to say my mum who when I was a kid I thought she was an Amazon with wings, in my teenie years I came face to face with the hard truth that she, like the rest of us, only human but none the less I still think shes the bees knees!

I would also like to remember my former french teacher and form teacher from my first year in secondary school; that woman was a real mean B***h, however she taught me the importance of perservering against all odds even when someone hates your guts the best form of revenge is still success!! Thank you Miss Douglass.

There are heaps more but somehow I reckon my list could get tedious; any more suggestions out there?

posted in Mixed Relationship - 0 replies

great cities for mixed rel. couples

2006-01-31T21:39:32Z

O.k. the togs are on for the new year and new experiences are way up there on the to-do list. Holidays have yet to be booked but I've got my heart set on Vancouver and more closer to home, Greece this year. I was wondering if any one out there had recommendations for cities or places which seem particularly inviting to mixed couples.

By inviting I mean non-gawping, potentially aggressive locals to be avoided at all costs. Places where the nightlife is kicking and diverse; where if not culture oozing from the streets at least have lots of entertainment or nature available as eye candy. You get the gist...

You may think I'm over the top but there are some parts of former east Germany which I will not visit simply because 'racist attacks' and harrassment have become a sadly common occurance. Don't get me wrong some of these areas are still quite stunning with a lot of history but I just can't be bothered with the aggro and there are heaps of other gorgeous cities and towns in Germany to visit.

posted in Mixed Relationship - 6 replies

Welcome!

2006-01-14T14:36:40Z

I'd like to take this opp. to say a big HELLO, to newcomer DJ Blondie.
Welcome and feel free to ask any questions or put out your view to the rest of the members. We look forward to the exchange...

posted in Mixed Relationship - 0 replies

New moderator

2006-01-05T07:27:33Z

Hi everyone.

Just a short announcement to say that I'm handing over this community to Fitnat. Unfortunately I have not had enough time to give this tribe the attention it deserves.

I wish her all the best and will continue to participate here from time to time.

All the best

Charles

posted in Mixed Relationship - 0 replies

Happy New Year!

2006-01-04T14:52:20Z

Just wanted to say hello to everyone since the silence was beginning to make my head swim. Wish you all the best for 2006 and much love to you and yours!

posted in Mixed Relationship - 1 reply

whasss up for the hols.?

2005-12-20T23:17:28Z

Does anyone out there have anything unusual set up in their plans for the holiday season??

I was supposed to go to Ghana but that got cancelled so I'm stuck in Germany. Nay mind I'll just have to make do with an overdose of mulled wine!

posted in Mixed Relationship - 2 replies

mixed rel. in films??

2005-12-18T01:25:16Z

Has anyone seen a good film in the past or lately which depicted an interesting mixed relationship?

I ask because a german film opened here recently in Frankfurt called 'White Masai' about a young german woman who almost thirty years ago ran off and married a kenyan warrior (masai).

I haven't seen the film yet because I saw an interview of the woman in question on german t.v. and I have to tell ya; the interview was just sad! Not because of the love story itself per se, no it was rather the racist 'oh my god, how could you?' attitude of the interviewer that put me off the film completely. I dread watching the bias that the tone of the film is bound to have; all things black are seen as not only exotic but problem ridden here in good old Germany. I suppose any other time I would have a little more patience for other peoples attitudes but of late I reckon l've done my time for consideration. B.s at the end of the day is still B.s no matter which end you take it!

Any how I wanted to wash my hair of negativity and check out possibly a good film along the lines of a mixed relationship, any suggestions out there??

posted in Mixed Relationship - 4 replies

Hello Little Tribe...

2005-11-07T19:51:28Z

I thought it was time we got things started up here :-), (I hope you don't mind Charles)

So you always felt mixed relationships were for you?

I have. I grow up in Kent. Born in London to Carribean Parents.Where I grow up there were no other black people until I was in my early teens - we were the first black family to the area. But I do not think this would have made much difference to my choice. I have always enjoyed the company of open minded non conformist types & my dad being very traditional in his ways, I think swayed my thinking in a lot of ways. But I think I was always going to date a mix of people. And I am glad I have :-D

So what are your experiences ? Please share, more interesting that way lol

Much Love C x

posted in Mixed Relationship - 7 replies

Introduce yourself

2005-11-05T01:25:10Z

What did you have for breakfast? And tell us a bit about yourself...

posted in Mixed Relationship - 8 replies

Half-caste children?

2005-10-31T07:36:55Z

Half-caste, mixed race, dual heritage, inter-racial. I don't like any of these terms although of these we use 'mixed race'. What do you think about them? Have you come across a more positive way of describing 'our' children?

posted in Mixed Relationship - 4 replies

Involved in a mixed race relationship

2005-10-31T07:33:30Z

HEllO, I'm new to the tribe and just wanted to say that I'm part of an oreo sandwich and I'm proud. Favorite authors of mixed race: Danzy Senna ("Caucasia) and Rebecca Walker ("Black, White &Jewish). I have experienced very minimal drama surrounding me, a Black woman dating a white man. When I was younger, I got stares but now, maybe as an adult, surrounded in a different setting, it's all good. Sacramento is a great place for mixed race couples.

posted in Mixed Relationship - 5 replies

.....and in America

2005-10-30T21:31:40Z

http://www.mavinfoundation.org/rbfs.html

posted in Mixed Relationship - 1 reply

New to this tribe

2005-10-30T21:30:00Z

Just wanted to say hello to everyone...

Also, I was born in the US of Mexican descent and my fiance is British. So far, I've gotten some slack from some of my extended family members, that I don't really talk to anyway, about me marrying non-Mexican. My immediate family has been completely supportive and treat like him he was one of the family. Now I'm off next week to meet his family in the UK and I'm frightened. Well, not so much fright, but definitely nervous. His mom has already suggested that we forego marriage and just live together...suffice to say, I'm not exactly thrilled on spending time with her.

posted in Mixed Relationship - 2 replies

Mixed Race in the UK

2005-10-30T21:05:21Z

The United Kingdom has one of the fastest growing mixed-race populations in the world, fuelled by the continuing rise of inter-ethnic relationships.
In spite of the recent racially-fuelled violence in several northern towns and cities, these days the evidence suggests that Britons of all shades are embracing each other more than ever before.

Celebrities like comedians Lenny Henry and Dawn French, actor Michael Caine, newsreader Trevor McDonald, singer Sade and writer Salman Rushdie are, or have been, in mixed race relationships.

Rightly or wrongly quite a lot of us [British-Asian women] believe that in order to fulfil our lives it just won’t be possible if we marry an Asian man who however egalitarian before marriage very often becomes extremely sexist afterwards

Yasmin Alibhai Brown
The singer Shirley Bassey, Labour MP Oona King and writer Hanif Kureshi are high-profile examples of Britain’s burgeoning mixed race population.

Data from the 2001 census due to be released later this year is expected to confirm that Britain has one of the highest rates in the world of inter-ethnic relationships and, consequently, mixed race people.

By 1997 already half of black men and a third of black women in relationships had a white partner according to a major study of ethnic minorities published by the Policy Studies Institute (PSI).

It also revealed that other inter-racial relationships were flourishing with a fifth of Asian men and 10% of Asian women opting for a white partner.

But in spite of those findings, research carried out for BBC News Online revealed only a third of Britons think people in the UK are very tolerant of mixed race relationships.

Professor Richard Berthoud of the Institute for Social and Economic Research at Essex University was one of the PSI report’s authors.

He said their research had revealed a public fascination with the subject.

"Part of the huge interest is based on the assumption that it wouldn’t happen - there’s an implicit assumption in British society that you marry somebody of the same colour as oneself.

"But there are many people with black faces who just think of themselves as English and see no reason why they should not form a partnership with a white person," Professor Berthoud said.

Women’s motives

In the past men have led the way in inter-racial relationships but according to writer Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, an Asian married to a white man, that situation is changing rapidly, especially among better-educated women.

Ms Alibhai-Brown said: "I think in the case of African Caribbeans especially there are more middle class women than there are middle class men.

"So what they want from life is very hard to find within their own communities because there has been quite extraordinary discrimination against black men who have not been allowed to progress through the system.

"So for them it’s almost like a class reason."

For Asian women there were more "feminist" motives, Ms Alibhai-Brown added.

"Rightly or wrongly quite a lot of us believe that in order to fulfil our lives it just won’t be possible if we marry an Asian man who however egalitarian before marriage very often becomes extremely sexist afterwards."

‘Blurring’

Whatever the reasons, the result of Britain’s high number of inter-ethnic relationships is a boom in the mixed race population - currently the fastest growing ethnic group in the UK.

Figures published by the Office for National Statistics in 2001 revealed the number of mixed race people grew by more than 75% during the 1990s to around 415,000, 10% of the total ethnic minority population in the UK.

Professor Richard Berthoud of Essex University said such growth was leading to the blurring of racial identities, especially among those of black Caribbean origin.

"Our study showed around 40% of children with one black parent also had a white parent.

"But those statistics only relate to children living with both parents and since a very large number of Caribbean mothers live without their partner we don’t know what ethnic group that partner comes from.

"So it seems not unlikely that a large proportion of their children would fit into the mixed ethnic group," Professor Berthoud said.

New racial category

The census in 2001 was a milestone for people of mixed race in the UK – for the first time a "mixed" category was included among the racial groups.

It followed a long campaign by those opposed to having to tick a box marked ‘other’ .

But researchers say though the existence of mixed race people may now be officially acknowledged in statistics, serious concerns remain.

Yasmin Alibhai Brown, author of a recent book ‘Mixed Feelings’ examining the issues facing children of mixed race, said one major worry was that many organisations and public bodies in Britain had adopted policies from the US.

"The movement started there to claim all mixed race children as black - the argument was if they suffer racism nobody asks them if they’re mixed race.

"But I think big mistakes were made to drive policy makers and practitioners into accepting this rather ludicrous concept because mixed race children aren’t black and they’re not white or brown – they are themselves," she said.

Often mixed race children lived with white mothers who in many cases were the victims of racism from both whites and blacks, Ms Alibhai-Brown added.

‘Pressure’

That was a point echoed by researcher Jill Olumide of London University.

BBC News Online: Race survey

Question: "Would you marry or have a relationship with someone from another race?"

FIND OUT THE ANSWER HERE

She said: "I think there is more pressure on mixed race couples further down the social order and on single mums with mixed race children.

"They’re more likely to come to the attention of social workers particularly if there are other factors like extended family withdrawing support when there’s more likely to go wrong."

As a white woman married to a Nigerian she had experienced family hostility to a mixed marriage at first hand, Ms Olumide added.

"In particular the Nigerian family were concerned and against it really, didn’t want the marriage to happen or continue.

"There’s also been name-calling and negative experiences but nothing that we couldn’t handle."

But writer Yasmin Alibhai-Brown believed in spite of the difficulties faced by some couples the trend of mixed race partnerships was likely to intensify.

She said: "More and more black and Asian and Chinese people will be marrying whites and each other. There is no stopping this, it seems to me.

"I hope it makes this country become more comfortable with its hybridity as a national characteristic."

posted in Mixed Relationship - 1 reply

Poem

2004-04-12T12:27:09Z

IT IS TOO HOT TO SLEEP

It is too hot to sleep.
I watch the moonlight
Creep across the bedclothes.
And I remember
On a night such as this
That I did not step out through my gate.
And I remember
Not stopping by her little board house
Where the road
Twists away from the sea,
And climbing three steps
Knock softly on her door.
And I remember
That her breasts did not
Tip dark against the thin cloth
Of her nightdress.
And I remember
That we did not
Make love on the bare mattress.
I lie here awake
And the moonlight has
Touched your face.
Asleep you know nothing of this.
And I lie here awake
Deep in the grace of Africa.

posted in Mixed Relationship - 1 reply

Decided to Join....

2004-04-11T16:57:13Z

Decided to join as I am in one lol :-)

posted in Mixed Relationship - 1 reply